ately, I’ve been tackling something way harder than forearm stands–fear, anxiety, and pain. When I notice myself doing things like surfing social media for hours, reaching for sugar, carbs and alcohol, finding ANYTHING to do except the next thing on my task list, that’s a red flag. I’m suppressing feelings that I don’t like having.
Even if you haven’t said anything, I see you. Even if you don’t want to bother anyone, because it’s more of the same, and people’s patience is bound to give out. Even if depression is a cliche, even if it’s seasonal, even if you have damn good reason. Your brain, evolutionarily speaking, DOES have damn good reason for balking, […]
CW: sexual assault When I was in my early twenties, a friend of mine started having neurological problems. Intermittent, acute idiopathic pain, fatigue, and intermittent paralysis. Doctors could not find a cause. Some accused them of making it up to get attention. At the same time, this friend started having flashbacks. Memories, long buried, of repeated sexual abuse by a […]
For years I have had a dream. It strikes me that most exercise videos are excessively earnest. Perky! Sincere! Cheerleader-esque! There seemed to be few, if any, home workout routines for people with a healthy sense of irony, and a taste for the absurd. My people. For too long I lacked the time, the equipment, and the chutzpah to make […]
I’m signed up for a lot of Inspirational Mailing Lists. My inbox is inundated with a symphony of earnest healers and coaches, all urging me to “Slow down to speed up! Take some time for reflection! Don’t be busy for the sake of it!” If they only knew. Sometimes I think the systems I’ve created in order to structure my […]