The Biochemistry of Rage

CW: sexual assault

When I was in my early twenties, a friend of mine started having neurological problems. Intermittent, acute idiopathic pain, fatigue, and intermittent paralysis. Doctors could not find a cause. Some accused them of making it up to get attention.

At the same time, this friend started having flashbacks. Memories, long buried, of repeated sexual abuse by a relative, at a very young age.

They spoke up about the abuse. After some battles, they were even believed. The abuser was prevented from abusing others.

Over time, the neurological problems got worse. Many diagnoses were proffered and rescinded. They spent more and more time in a wheelchair.

The experiences of this friend, and of many others, inspired me to study alternative healing, particularly the relief of chronic pain. Over the years I heard countless variations on this story. Childhood abuse, adult disease and disability.

So when, in 2012, the results of the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study were made public, it validated a suspicion of mine. As the study indicated, childhood trauma can disrupt the structural development of the neural network, and the biochemistry of endocrine systems. This can have far-ranging health consequences in adulthood, correlating with everything from heart disease, obesity, diabetes, cancer, and emphysema, to behavioral and mental health issues like alcoholism and depression.

Trauma disrupts the nervous system. 

If you have been living under a rock for the past few weeks, you might have been able to avoid the avalanche of people telling their sexual assault stories, in the wake of allegations against Harvey Weinstein. After a few days of it, I got off social media.

Because the guys complaining about people expressing their feelings were a little much.

As if feelings aren’t reality.

Feelings, as I understand from decades of professional experience, are data. Feelings are biochemistry. Feelings are a language more truthful, rational and compelling than any amount of intellectual rationalization.

And when I hear the feelings of millions of traumatized people dismissed as so much whining, I get kind of enraged.

It’s that kind of language that keeps abusers comfortable. It’s that kind of talk which keeps victims quiet. And it’s an ontological lie, told in order to maintain a status quo which is monstrously destructive.

Because every human being will experience trauma. It’s built into the system. What causes unnecessary trauma is trying to ignore and suppress the body’s natural response to it. Emotions are tunnels, which we have to traverse in order to build resilience.

I spend my days coaxing people’s bodies to release unprocessed trauma.

And I don’t have much patience with those who try to shut them up.

 

 

 

Doing Voodoo On Your Spine (Not)

In the fifteen years since integrating Reiki with my bodywork sessions, I’ve only had one client get creeped out by it.

Oddly, she was a craniosacral therapist, and thus (I thought), should have known better. Craniosacral therapy, like other forms of “energy work,” is..subtle, and attracts attention from Quackwatch. The practitioner puts her hands on your head with surpassing gentleness and does…almost nothing.

People often get substantial relief from pain and other symptoms after receiving it, however, so craniosacral therapists continue to make a living.

My clients seem to respond to the Reiki, so I keep using it. My current theory about why it works is one part subtle stimulation of the nervous system, triggering a relaxation response, and one part placebo effect. If I want to visualize a healing purple light pouring through my hands and intelligently directing itself toward my clients’ malaise, well, it keeps me entertained. And lots of people like that sort of thing.

But after the craniosacral therapist became visibly uncomfortable, I stopped the Reiki immediately and checked in with her after the session. Respecting my clients’ boundaries is a top professional responsibility, and I let her know it. We’re cool.

The interesting thing to me, however, is that subtle forms of therapy often seem to be as effective as more aggressive treatment, if not more so. There’s still lot we don’t know about the nervous system. Often all the body needs in order to heal itself is the tiniest little nudge, where all the manhandling in the world does nothing.

The Perils of Positive Thinking

Now, I’m not going to name any names. Let’s just say that There are Those Out There who will tell you, with great fluidity and earnestness, that you are what you think. That “your attitude determines your altitude.” That changing your mind will change your life. They will tell you this in a spiritual context, in a relationship context, in a financial context, in a healing context.

And without naming names, or going into detail, I will allow that they are partly correct. The mind is an amazing thing. Recent research into the placebo effect indicates that the brain releases endorphins that alleviate pain even when youknow you’re taking a placebo. Your thoughts can actually program your body for health or destruction, as well as for many things in between.

However, many New Age healers take this paradigm a step too far. They will kindly, earnestly and abusively tell a sick person that they ‘created their illness,’ and, by implication, that they can cure themselves by will alone. This is the kind of thing that generates  much antipathy toward New Age healers in certain circles.

heart

“Heart,” oil on canvas, 36″x 48″, Stephanie Lee Jackson 2007.

Two things. First of all, the mind-body connection is not a one-way street. It is a feedback loop. As much as your state of mind can affect your body (psycho-somatic), the state of your body certainly affects your mind (somato-psychic). There are a few people with such naturally sunny dispositions that their minds carry their bodies on an effortless wave of health and prosperity, but those aren’t most of us. Most of us get crabby when we have a headache, let alone a major illness, and we’re not going to think our way out of it.

Second of all–and this is something I’ve only discovered after years of giving and receiving both thought-based therapy and bodywork–your body locks in thought patterns that can only be accessed somatically. The reason you can’t will your way out of an injury or illness (besides the obvious) is that most somatic memory lies beneath the level of conscious awareness. Trying to ‘change your thoughts to attract health and abundance’ when you have oodles of trauma locked in your tissues only creates guilt, frustration, rage and misery.

In my experience, undertaking a healing path is a continuous, spiraling journey. Entertaining a new way of thinking can help a lot. I have undergone surges of positive thinking which performed as advertised–they attract health, joy, abundance and fabulous new friends. However, I have just as often fought my own thoughts for decades, only to have an expert bodyworker fiddle with my arm, my solar plexus or my big toe and trigger an unforeseen breakthrough, both physically and psychologically.

Things I Didn’t Know

You learn something new every day:

In Women, Hernias May Be Hidden Agony – NYTimes.com.

Unlike hernias in men, which are far more common, those that afflict women are usually small and internal and rarely cause an obvious bulge. Symptoms can be suggestive of other problems — ovarian cysts, fibroids, endometriosis or adhesions from a previous operation — but surgically correcting these conditions does not relieve the devastating pain.

“On average, women go through four prior surgeries, and some a lot more than that, before the real cause of their pain is identified,” said Dr. Deborah A. Metzger, a gynecologist in Los Altos, Calif., who specializes in chronic pelvic pain.

When a woman lies flat on the examining table, the signs and symptoms of a hernia disappear. And the usual exam, an ultrasound, rarely reveals the real problem. Lacking an accurate diagnosis, doctors often send patients to be drugged up by pain specialists and psychiatrists.

Not only is this something to keep in mind, the next time I have a client complaining of intermittent, undiagnosed abdominal pain, it helps to explain a few things.

First of all, when doctors can’t find the source of a problem, they often decide that the problem must be ‘psychosomatic,’ i.e. ‘not real.’ They may not directly say so, but sending a woman suffering from excrutiating abdominal pain to a psychiatrist can be an act of violence in itself. It sends the signal, “I don’t believe you,” and “you must be crazy.”

Second of all, it illustrates a scenario where non-invasive therapies like Reiki could appear to have an effect, however temporary. Lying flat on a table causes the hernia symptoms to disappear, and a treatment which mainly promotes relaxation–and thus the release of abdominal pressure caused by stress–could mask the symptoms for awhile longer.

This doesn’t mean I’m recommending Reiki for hernias. It does mean that I have a some better questions to ask in cases of pelvic pain.

What Kind of Massage Should I Get?

The spa menu! Was there ever a thing so enticing, and simultaneously bewildering? ‘Bamboo Raindrop Swedish Scalp Treatment’! ‘Ayurvedic Aromatherapy Deep Tissue Scrub’! ‘Lavender Acupressure Intensive for Neck Pain’! ‘Meditative Earth Massage with Reflexology’? How in the world do you decide which one you need?

The dirty secret is, 90% of all this is marketing. Spas throw together these scrumptious-sounding confections so that they can charge you more money. That’s not to say the massage won’t be worth it; you just can’t tell by the packaging.

Your best bet is to shop around for a therapist who suits you. The technique is only as good as the therapist; anyone who is mechanically applying a particular treatment is not going to perform any miracles. And miracles are what you’re after!

With this in mind, here is your handy guide to deciphering the most common terms on spa menus.

Swedish Massage: This is basic. You take off your clothes, and the therapist rubs you with cream or oil in long, swooshing strokes. It’s nice. If the therapist is following the letter of the law, however, it won’t be much better than nice; if you’ve got a lot of knots, as most of us do, it can be screamingly frustrating. Your therapist will glide right over those festering areas, giving them no more and no less attention than the top of your hip bone. And few people ever get trigger points at their iliac crest.

Deep Tissue: Swedish, only tougher. Your therapist will go after those knots, possibly using elbows; your body will get a workout. However, the joy and relief you get from this is highly dependent upon the skill of your therapist. Some poor souls are imbued with lasting terror of deep tissue, after a ham-fisted masseuse left bruises that stayed for a week. A sensitive therapist will only go as deep as your body allows. If you flinch, tense up or cry out, and the therapist doesn’t immediately back off, don’t go back.

Shiatsu: Shiatsu is an Eastern modality that is traditionally performed on the floor, fully clothed. It involves the mobilization of joints, stretches, and pressure with cupped hands, thumbs and elbows, in specific patterns calledmeridians. Many people swear by it, particularly for back pain. Most Western therapists, however, don’t do straight Shiatsu, partly because it’s hard on their backs, partly because there’s little market for it. An experienced and well-trained practitioner will integrate some Shiatsu moves into a Swedish sequence, insuring that those meridians stay balanced.

Aromatherapy: A serious aromatherapist will interview you closely about your moods, health concerns, stress levels and daily habits before putting together a specific combination of natural essential oils to boost and tone your immune system, emotional condition and spiritual state. If you are getting ‘aromatherapy’ at a spa, this will not happen. It just means that your massage comes with scented oil instead of unscented. Ask to sample the oils before your massage, and ask if they’re natural or synthetic; synthetic oils have no therapeutic properties whatsoever.

Now we come to the more esoteric modalities of massage; the ones that you may reach for if you’re suffering from chronic pain, illness, or undiagnosed disorder that baffles your physician. Some of them may be effective; others may do nothing. Most of them won’t hurt you.

Neuromuscular Massage: This modality focuses on the elimination of trigger points, those areas of acute sensitivity that may radiate down a limb, or up into your skull, causing restriction of movement and chronic pain. A good massage therapist will be able to detect and treat these trigger points during a Swedish/Deep Tissue session, and eliminate them as part of the day’s work.

Since many massage therapists are just going through the motions, however, your chances of getting a thorough trigger-point tune-up are vastly increased if you go to one who explicitly states that they are neuromuscular-capable. At the very least they should be able to tell the difference between a trigger point and a tendon.

Reflexology: This is another Eastern modality that maps the body onto the soles of the feet, and intensively works your feet in order to stimulate healing responses elsewhere. It can be a particularly relaxing treatment if you are too sensitive in other parts of your body to tolerate direct massage.

Craniosacral Therapy: If you’re suffering from chronic neck pain due to whiplash, PTSD, or severe malaise of the nervous system, you might want to give this a try. It is extraordinarily subtle; the therapist places hands on your neck and skull and senses the pulses of your central nervous system, allowing the system to gently balance itself with minimal assistance. The theory is that bones in the skull are mobile, not fused, and the treatment brings these bones into proper alignment.

This theory, however, is controversial. Whatever is objectively happening during a craniosacral session, many clients find it deeply relaxing.

Reiki: This lightest-of-light energy modality is as controversial as it is popular. If you go to a practitioner who integrates Reiki with a more traditional massage session, you can soak in any potential benefits of Reiki while still getting your sore muscles kneaded.

Thai Massage: This is like passive yoga; massage connoisseurs say there’s nothing like it. You lie on a floor mat, and the practitioner bends, stretches and rocks your body in a way which give you a workout without the sweat. Look for an uptick in Thai popularity presently!

Is Reiki Flaky?

300px-ReikiImage via Wikipedia

Recently I interviewed a colleague, Kathy Fleetwood, about her Reiki practice. She lit up. “It’s changed my life,” she declared.

Last year, Kathy’s mother came down with something that doctors tentatively diagnosed as Parkinson’s. She lost weight, was too exhausted to work, ached all over, and walked with a shuffle and a stoop. Kathy flew home to the UK over Christmas, and gave her two Reiki treatments a day for ten days. A month later her mother was back to normal. The doctors couldn’t say what had happened.

Kathy’s brother is a heroin addict. He has come close to losing a leg from systemic infections. Kathy has given him Reiki when he needed a fix, and the cravings ceased for a day or two. She credits the Reiki for the fact that he still has his legs.

“It’s not coming from me, it’s the energy,” Kathy says. Reiki has been popular in the UK for over a decade; it is widely accepted there as a treatment for all sorts of ills.

In the U.S., Reiki is now being used on cancer patients in respected treatment centers:

Reiki is often described as a treatment that helps life energy to flow in a patient—an explanation not generally accepted by scientists. Barrie Cassileth, chief of the Integrative Medicine Service at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York, calls the energy theory “absurd” but says light-touch therapy can have a “great relaxing effect” on cancer patients “who are constantly poked, prodded and given needles.”

I have been using Reiki in my practice for over a decade. I cannot give any scientific opinion about its efficacy, because with the number of different techniques I use, it’s impossible to say which are getting results, or whether it’s the integration of therapies itself which is effective. So all I can offer are my observations, as distinct from my beliefs, which change from year to year. (Belief, for me, is a tool for enquiry–if I subscribe to this philosophy, what are its effects in my life? What about that one? Next year, let’s try Buddhism!)

Some phenomenae I have observed in my practice:

  • If I start doing Reiki while a client is talking, they usually fall silent, sometimes in the middle of a sentence.
  • If they aren’t talking, they often fall asleep. Suddenly, with a slight snore.
  • Their muscles will sometimes release along an entire fascial pathway, with an abrupt jerk or shudder.
  • They feel heat coming from my hands.
  • During or after a session, they report a cessation of pain and anxiety, profound relaxation, and the occasional vision, color display or ‘spiritual experience.’
  • Over time, they describe a progressive increase of energy, positive motivation, and decrease of chronic pain.

All of this is mild, anecdotal, and easily explained away by the placebo effect. Any claim that Reiki is a cure for all ills is greatly exaggerated. But the placebo effect is an effect–it is the body’s response to the mind’s reassurance. All of our minds need more reassurance than we usually get.

What I have found is that Reiki imbues my work with reverence. It causes me to stop and contemplate the fact, as Kathy says, that I’m not the one in control here. It reminds me to observe myself, observe my clients, to acknowledge how little I know, and motivates me to discover more.

In other words, it’s a ritual tool for getting my ego out of the way.

So I have no quarrel with skeptics who dismiss Reiki as so much BS. I do not know whether I am channelling healing purple light through my palms, and I have no way to prove it one way or the other. I do know that we’re all going to die sooner or later, and Reiki won’t change that. The best I can do for my clients is to help them make their finite time more pleasant, and possibly more conscious.

 

To book a session with Kathy, please contact the Balance Health Center in Center City. For affordable Reiki, tryKensington Yoga and Reiki, just down the street from Practical Bodywork.